Reply to The insanity of 1%er East Coast parents and college

Forum Index » College and University Discussion

Reply to "The insanity of 1%er East Coast parents and college "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you think this is limited to the 1% you have blinkers on. [/quote]

True but the point is it’s most insane for the 1%ers. [/quote]

NO. It is easier for 1%. The degree to which it is "most insane" is entirely a dynamic they magic out of their own neuroses and has absolutely ZERO to do with actual limitations on their options.

The 1%ers who choose to go the route of massive donations or spending enormous sums on private school/test prep/college advising/etc. in order to guarantee their kids entry into one of a very narrow range of schools are just being stupid. That's it. It's a stupid game akin to the billionaires who compete over who has the biggest yacht. Only worse because in this scenario their children are the yachts and their educations are being used in a d*ck-measuring contest. Gross. But not actually that hard to opt out of. Just don't.[/quote]

We are in the top 1% or .5%. I grew up as a poor immigrant kid. I was equally focused, if not more, than my current high school student. Education was my ticket out of poverty. There was no back up plan. My rich kid can go to any school and will probably do fine.

Ambition and striving are popular to put down on DCUM. I wonder if this is what non ambitious say. I hear this in real life from adults who come from family money, but are unimpressive themselves or have unimpressive children. They call the achieving people strivers and look down on them.

I am proud of my achievements. I am proud of my children’s achievements. [/quote]

No one has an issue with achievement. They have issues with the [b]borderline mental breakdown-level of obsession with getting into certain institutions [/b]because those institutions are “elite” and convey “status.” And with the lack of perspective, especially amongst the parents who should know better, to understand that there are many, many successful people who didn’t go that route. Because ultimately it is just one small piece of the puzzle.[/quote]

How do you know someone is having breakdown level obsession around getting into certain institutions? Honestly, it just reads like your own kids are not competitive, you gave up, some other parents and kids are still in the running and that equals mental breakdown. Nobody is breaking down about not getting into Harvard, ok. They will be upset for a few days if they expected it, then they will move on.[/quote]

OP here. I posted this because I know a family literally claiming to be in crisis and falling apart over a kid who appears to be headed for a state college. [/quote]

It’s in the moment.  We all have dumb things we obsess over.  Like you are mad at yourself for not getting a workout in.  End of the world?  No.  But it can affect both your mood and your sense of self in the moment.

People who can worry about getting their kids into a T20 school seriously don’t have much to think about in the grand scheme of things.  It’s natural for them to find something to hyper fixate on.   Especially if you have the type of personality that has made you somewhat successful in life - that’s just how you process stuff.  It’s fine. [/quote]

it’s not actually fine though. It’s a horrible example for their kids, and it’s truly alienating for the less privileged who have to hear the ENDLESS WHINING[/quote]

By that you mean the kids who didn't study as hard or didn't have supportive educational environments at home?[/quote]

less access to money, to the “best” schools, SN involved … it runs the gamut. and to a certain extent yes, aptitude. The insane parents who can’t realize that in fact their kid is smart and hardworking and will be fine are annoying. [/quote]

Ok I think I get what the pp is saying. I have the high stat kid who wants to attend a T10 school. If another parent has a kid who has UVA or VT as their top choice and my kid is already in or doesn’t seem happy about it, I can see it coming off as obnoxious, smug and/or annoying.

I have a younger kid who just started to play basketball. He did not make a competitive team last year. When other parents would talk about which team their kid passed up or suggest a team that sucks when my kid tried out for that team and didn’t get selected, I thought the parents were obnoxious and annoying.

It is more about your own child’s inadequacies. If your kid is an average student and you can’t pay for private college at 90k per year, that doesnt necessarily mean the kid who is valedictorian and either has rich parents who can full pay to Stanford should not try everything in their power to get their kid into Stanford or Princeton bc that kid’s potential may be greater.[/quote]

[b]No you’re still not getting it. Obviously you shouldn’t brag about your kid’s Ivy chances when you know the other family’s kid won’t get that close. [/b]If you actually had to be told that you’re even further behind on perspective and social skills than I thought.

no, the point is, your kid aiming for the T10 is going to be fine wherever they end up. because they are smart and focused and especially if you also make 7 figures. so acting like it’s the only possible successful outcome is venal, annoying, and shallow. [/quote]

I find this so bizarre.  My kid is on the edge of being recruited for a sport.  However, he is far from an elite athlete.  We have a friend whose kid has a shot at the Olympics.  Over the moon for this kid whose dedication, drive and talent have put him in this spot.  My friend absolutely should “brag” to me about her kid and share the ups and downs of his journey with me if she wants.  Even though my kid has zero chance to be at that level.  Not sure why it matters at all.   Support each kid and person at what they want.  Why is this so hard? [/quote]

+++[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics