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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my case, a big part of it was socialization and expectations at home.

I rode my DD hard.  I expected her to excel and to put in the time.  She is off at a T10 college.

I was much more lax with her brother.  He was always so dang cute and I always felt he was going to figure it out at some point.  By 9th grade, I decided he hadn’t figured it out fast enough and started holding him to the same standards I had held his sister to.  I didn’t let things slide and told him i expected straight A’s.  He gave me the usual “I am trying my best, etc” and I told him “your best needs to be better.  You are smart enough to get it done if you put in the work.”  And to my surprise - he rose to meet the challenge.  He is on track for a selective school and for a while there, that didn’t seem like his path.

I still don’t know why I expected more from my DD than my DS.  But if others are like me, maybe that could explain parts of it?  [/quote]

My mother was a little bit pushy about her grand-daughters being financially independent and being able to walk away from a bad marriage if they needed to.
My mother's marriage wasn't bad but I think she might have felt a little trapped in marriage because of her kids.  If she was financially independent, she would have left my dad.
She was the same way with my sisters but not with me or my son.  She loves us but she never worried about us making our way in the world.
For a lot of women, financial independence requires an education, for boys we just think everything is going to work out.
It's not working out for the boys as effortlessly anymore.[/quote]

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