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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your family's income is 20k+ per month and she spends $800 on herself? That is 4% of your income. I think you can afford that without austerity measures, especially as this lower income is temporary.[/quote]

20k before tax. There’s no point in ever looking at pre tax income to determine if you can afford something. Only thing that matters is what you get to keep. [/quote]

Exactly.

Income might be 20K/month but after taxes, FICA, mortgage, retirement, etc. Their discretionary fund is probably not even 10K but I'll go with that. From that 10K/month, you need to account for things like college fund (to fully fund a VA state college education it is at least 1,000/month/kid), vacation fund, meals, kids birthday presents, emergency fund, food, gas, car payments (because I bet they have new cars) and all the other crap that comes up in life that you need to pay for.  So if even your $800/month number is correct. It is more like she is spending around 8 to 10% of their discretionary fund on herself and "upkeep." She is spending like they had their prior HHI in the 450K. If she wants to spend like that to keep up with the Jones, then she needs to go back to work. If she doesn't want to go back to work, then you need to have a come to Jesus conversation on spending.

As an aside, you aren't going to get much support from most of DCUM since most of them won't think anything of it and it isn't their worry if you go bankrupt.[/quote]

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