Reply to Just got yelled at for leaving my kid alone in in the car while I went to the pharmacy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yikes, this is all really disheartening. Trust me, I am not a “mommy martyr”, and in general I think that a lot of expectations on parents are way too high. But not leaving a young child (or children) alone in a car seems like a no-brainer. It’s disturbing there are posters bragging about doing this. We get it, you’re an irresponsible parent - why is that something you seem proud of? Is it more hassle to bring the kid in with you? Sure. But oh well, that’s going to happen sometimes. [/quote]

A 7 yo is really not very young. This conversation would be very different if we were talking about a toddler. I think it's fine and even positive for 7 and 8 year olds to be left alone for short periods of time in public places. I intentionally started doing things like having my 7 year old wait at a table in a food court for me for a few minutes or stay in the house alone while I ran next door to get some sugar so that she could experience that feeling of being on her own and self reliant in short and controlled situations. As we did more of this I could stretch out the time or go further away because she showed herself to be trustworthy and responsible in these shorter situations. What OP did sounds healthy to me.

And actually the fact that the kid didn't want to come inside is part of that process in my opinion. That's the age where kids start being less willing to tag along on errands -- they want to spend more time on their own and with friends instead of with parents. I think this is normal and healthy. It means they are becoming their own person. I can totally see myself in that situation saying "ok if you don't want to come inside with me here are the ground rules to waiting outside in the car" and then providing some ground rules and making sure my trip inside was short (which it definitely sounds like OP's was).

This is how parenting a child who is constantly maturing and developing works. You have to give them space to grow up and learn. It sucks that the security guard and others on this thread don't see that process as something we should all support instead of something to stand in the way of. If I'd been that security guard I would have noticed the kid in the car and kept an eye on that situation and then when the mom came out let her know if the kid had done anything for her to be concerned about (like if he was drawing attention to himself or playing with the car). I would also have told her he'd behaved well if he had in fact behaved well so she'd know that he'd met her expectations and earned more trust. I would not have harassed the kid and yelled at the mom. That's the exact wrong reaction.

Our "village" is so freaking broken. Between this thread and the one where people were arguing the OP should charge her neighbor for a 10 year old to walk with them to school I wonder if it even makes sense to have kids in a culture that doesn't understand that raising kids is a joint effort.[/quote]

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