Reply to Would you move in without a ring?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. We have discussed timelines and wants throughout our entire relationship. We became pretty serious at 6 months and he brought up marriage. He said I love you for the first time and told me he was in love with me. At 1 year, he brought up marriage again. He told me flat out that he wants to marry me and build a life together and needed to know I was on the same page. We discussed moving in together this month. We both own our own condos and I will be moving in to his. My plan is to rent it out mine until I feel it’s right to sell. I do think a ring is in the near future. When discussing engagement, he said that it will happen when it happens and that moving in together and seeing how we cohabit is the next best step. [/quote]
That sounds promising! Good idea to keep your condo and rent it out, if things go south you always have that to rely on. [/quote]

This is exactly the point many of us are making as to why this is a bad deal for OP and the boyfriend too.

They both go into this with an escape clause. If it "doesn't work out" we turn tail and run. That is NOT a good formula for success in setting up a marriage. And why shacking up does not provide a true picture of what a committed relationship looks like.[/quote]
I don't see the downside. I really fail to understand how a piece of jewellery means literally anything. If you want to argue that you should wait until marriage, that's one thing. But even then, you're just jumping in blind. There is always an escape clause, in everything we do. [/quote]

It’s not the jewelry it’s the engagement, a public announcement of your intention to marry each other.  Why move in before that step, disrupting your life and finances, just to risk that he isn’t actually prepared to get engaged to you?  Rather he makes that commitment to you now before you leave your condo.  Otherwise, just continue to date until he is sure, and enjoy your condo.[/quote]
Some people are engaged for years though. Some never make it to the altar. Engagement is not legally protected, it's really just performative. 
There are many reasons to move in before that, you don't have to like or agree with other peoples choices. I loved living with my then bf, now dh. [/quote]
This isn’t about judgment, it’s about PP pretending this is about jewelry.  It’s not.  It’s about engagement, a commitment to marriage.  Silly to pretend OP is asking about jewelry.  [/quote]
The engagement ring is literally just a piece of jewellery. That ring means nothing until a marriage license is signed. How can you say that a few flowery words are more commitment than sharing your life together? Which is actually a commitment? [/quote]

You are still making it about a ring.  An engagement does not mean “nothing until a marriage license is signed.”  It’s a public announcement to friends and family that you are getting married and starts the process of wedding planning.  Total BS that it means nothing.[/quote]

Not nothing, but little. We all know people who have had more than 1 engagement.[/quote]

We all know people who have had more than 1 marriages and divorces and affairs.[/quote]

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