Reply to It's been 10 years since our oldest graduated from high school. The most successful are

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.[/quote]

Okay I guessing your post has caused a lot of stress including to parents on this forum who have a 28 year old who is struggling and not considered perfect

Soooo. It took me to my thirties to find my footing and really come into myself. My career took off in my thirties and I didn’t get married until almost 40 and had a kid just before forty and one fright after. I was not an academic genius in hs

What I had was parents who loved me through my insecurity and helped me along the way. They absolutely supported my dreams even if the dreams went off the rails.

What would I do over? Not much. I think for college you make sure your kid is happy in the environment for their college. Look at things like weather and community because it matters. This matters more than ranking. Sorry it does. If you get seasonal depression do not go where there is no sun.  You do not need to be miserable to be successful. Also some kids learn better in a small environment and some it does not matter.

Oh one thing I would change. It took me to almost 50 to not care what other people think. That would have been helpful in my 20s. I was so upset that I was not a far along in my 20s and now found some of my far along friends from then were just as miserable as I was but looked better on paper because they had a wall street job or were starting tenure track etc.

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