Reply to My marriage is going to break over the little things

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m so glad I live with another relaxed person (or slob, YMMV). Yeah, we try to put our dishes in the sink 90% of the time. But once in a while, do we put an empty, kinda clean plate on the couch? Yes we do. Because that’s the awesome part about being an adult, no one is going to yell at you because you ate ice cream for dinner this one time, or stayed up late, or put a dish on the sofa (that you paid for).

I get it, if he’s a gross pig making messes he expects you to clean up, or a weird hoarder & you have mouse droppings everywhere, then yeah, drop the hammer on this idiot. But if he [b]puts an empty plate on the sofa until the end of the movie…that seems within the boundaries of permissible for a responsible adult[/b]. And if I were a responsible adult & had a spouse policing my activities to this degree, I’d be annoyed. Why can’t you chill a little & enjoying the perks of being a grownup in your own damn house? There is no law against putting an empty plate on the couch for 45 minutes. Live a little! [/quote]

I genuinely hope this OP is a troll. Because otherwise her kids are having SUCH a sad childhood with her as a mom. No value on shared happy times or connection, just control and lashing out. They love their dad and likely enjoy his company a lot more since he is more relaxed. OP always being at him must also stress them out. [/quote]

DP, I am someone who has trouble relaxing when I see clutter/mess. But I understand that is *my* issue. So if the plate was bothering me that much, I’d clear everything away to the kitchen myself. But most likely I’d just let something like this go because the bottom of a plate is unlikely to make the sofa a mess. And the whole point of trying to keep my home nice is so that my family can enjoy it. I remind myself that a couch that is used for pizza/movie night (even with a plate touching it) is a better investment than a couch that my family feels uncomfortable on because mom might snap and start a fight.

And ya know what, if there had been sauce on the plate and it got messy, then DH could clean that up. If he didn’t then OP would have a point. But also just get a performance fabric or slipcover so you can enjoy your home.[/quote]

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