Reply to Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?

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Reply to "Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous]These responses blow me away.  I feel that no one sees the larger picture.   
First of all, what does it look like to put a spouse first? Or a child first?

If a child is used to sleeping in daddy’s bed on his weekends should his new spouse take the couch with a smile? Or should he choose to sleep next to his wife and explain to the child that daddy still loves (child) very much, and although the bedtime routine will have to change , daddy will always make it special bc he has enough love for (all kids) and (new wife) plus more to spare.  Daddy could further explain how his new wife is not a replacement for their mommy , shes is daddys 2nd chance romantic love and should be respected just as daddy respects her.

I dont care if its a nuclear family or a blended family, a child needs to stay in the child role, so they learn how to treat others and maintain positive fulfilling relationships.  When a childs WANTS are put over a spouses NEEDS, a child ends up being put in the adult role which skew every expectation in relationships toward toxicity.  It also sets the parents child relationship up for codependency.

Putting the childs NEEDS before the spouses NEEDS is a scenerio that is extremely RARE!  Its a choice no one would ever want to make.  Its final, so both existing after the decision isnt a thing.

I hope none of you remarry.   I feel sorry for your future spouse and children,

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