Reply to DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up

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Reply to "DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t understand the obsession with equality among siblings. To me it is clear that different age kids need and get different things.

We have 3 kids who are 13, 8 and 5. The younger two have similar size bedrooms but the older one’s is nicer. The oldest has a much larger attic bedroom, practically a whole floor to himself. Also, they have all moved bedrooms at least once, and may do it again as time changes. [/quote]

I don’t get it either.  My mom was obsessed with fairness, and there was a lot that my siblings and I didn’t get to do because of it.  
Not getting to choose your own bedroom is just the beginning.

[/quote]

This.  Look, in a perfect world, all the rooms would be equally nice and the right number for your family.  In the real world, sometimes some but not all siblings have to share, sometimes there’s a second en suite room, sometimes one sibling ends up with a sweet deal.  Not using a great bedroom in the name of fairness is bonkers, although of course on a case by case basis I’ll grant that there may be other high use options for the room and that’s fine.

IMHO being fair with multiple kids means making sure they each win sometimes.  Maybe rooms shuffle when the oldest goes to college.  Or maybe it’s something else.  The oldest shouldn’t always “win” of course and it’s important to tend to individual needs on a case by case basis.[/quote]

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