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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I graduated from Princeton years ago and had a similarly bleak, lonely experience, despite having come from a well-off background (and majoring in English, not computer science). My DDs chose Yale and Rice and each had a fantastic time and made lifelong friends. “The best damn place of all?” They’ve got some work to do.[/quote]

Your kids are obviously their own people.

I am struggling to understand why you might think you would have a magical college experience at Yale, but Princeton was terrible for you.  Seems like maybe the entire group of top schools were/would have been a bad fit for you.[/quote]

DP here. Do you really not get that the overall personality/culture/vibe at these "top schools" is quite different?

Yes, there are kids who could transfer from one T-10 school to another and have the exact same experience, good or bad. But I think that's rare.

Most people are affected by the environments in which we live, work, and play.  I'm the same person, but I had very different experiences at one BigLaw firm vs. another. Peers on paper and in so many other ways, but with a completely different organizational personality/culture/vibe.  Same with when I lived in NYC vs. DC vs. a smaller city. I'm the same person in all of these settings, but my experiences (and my feelings about them) were very different.

Finally, I'm someone who went to a T-10 school that's known for the "work hard / play hard" thing.  Was that true all of the time? Of course not.  But that was the unstated but well-understood personality of the place. Great if you want a more campus-focused, social college experience with the rigor of a top-notch school (including all the effort that requires in between being social.)

The school I chose was perfect for me, but it most certainly would not be for all T-10 applicants. Just the same way a more "grindy" school or a more urban school wouldn't be for me either. Top colleges are not fungible commodities.  [/quote]

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