Reply to Millennials feel 'abandoned' by parents not available to help raise grandkids: 'Too busy'

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I live in a multi-gen household and I have inbuilt childcare. DH and I, also pay for a part-time nanny so that my ILs do not get tired or are tied down.  The fact that my ILs keep an eye on the nanny and other domestic staff (cleaners, part-time cook, yard maintenance) means that I can continue with having a life, my career,  time with my kids and vacations.

My suggestion would be to live in a multi-gen family and you will have help for childcare, eldercare, pet care, plant care, home maintenance, socialization and running of the household and life.

I am sure that is completely unacceptable to the self-centered American millennials.  :lol:  :lol: [/quote]

Lady you are talking about domestic staff. Kindly STFU. You have oodles of funds to have a multi-gen household function for all parties. [/quote]

Ooodles of funds happen because of "Pooled Resources",  you brain-dead crybaby!  And that not only saves everyone money, but we are able to have a good standard of living for a fraction of cost.

My ILs and us are jointly maintaining only one household. They are the alloparents for my kids.  We can easily put money towards outsourcing so that all of us can live a better and comfortable lifestyle because of this lifestyle choice.  
Let me share a secret with you, this is how generational wealth is created.

You guys are unhappy and poor and will remain so! You expect your boomer parents to help you? It will never happen in a million years because all of you have normalized the dysfunction of your own family life and culture. You are not even open to copy what works for others because self-centeredness is in your fiber.  Further, you all lack the EQ and intelligence to  make a multi-gen family a viable solution for you. Heck, how many of you will have even your marriage survive in the next 10 years? [/quote]

Your living situation is ideal.  We have some three generation households in our family and financially you pretty much cut your household expenses in half.

A lot of very bitter posters here so I don’t think it would work out for them.  My neighborhood has a lot of first generation immigrant Asian families.  Usually it’s the grandmother, parents and children.   The grandmother provides household care and childcare.  The parents work and the children go to school.  The parents are able to focus on their careers knowing their children are taken care of.  To me that’s ideal. [/quote]

These situations dont work when the "grandmother" role is a full-time employed person. Your ideal situation also wont work for your children and grandchildren unless "grandmother" doesnt work I will let you in on a little secret that I see happening in households where the mother/father is 2nd or 3rd generation- it no longer works because the women have JOBS. Both the older woman and younger woman.

You are also talking about families with only one child I presume? What about a family that has 4 children- 2 boys and 2 girls. Who gets the lucky free labor of the elderly? Who gets to share living expenses? Only one or do you pay for half of each household? 
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Households with 4 kids is an American choice.  Most Asians I know have one or two children only. The ones who have three kids are those who had twins.

In multi-gen households, a considerable amount of outsourcing happens because money is pooled. I am talking about homes where the grandparents and parents all are working.  Sorry to disappoint you but  the  uneducated non-English speaking widowed grandma who is the defecto indentured labor is  not the norm in the communities that are thriving.

BTW, the service providers (part-time cooks, cleaners, yard maintainnce, handymen) who are working for these kinds of households are mostly coming to work during the weekends. Do you know why? The adults in the family are working during the work week and Asian families usually do not allow service providers to come to their house in their absence.

But, you do you, Boo!
Remain without childcare, help, support, ability to buy a house, savings for your children, an instagram worthy home, peace, vacations, thriving kids, tutors for kids, good schools, college fund and retirement savings ...and blame your parents.  Such losers! Your Boomer parents should be embarrassed to have raised such failures.  [/quote]

You contradicted yourself here and showed you are just a troll.

"I live in a multi-gen household and I have [b]inbuilt childcare[/b]. DH and I, also pay for a part-time nanny so that my ILs do not get tired or are tied down. The fact that my ILs keep an eye on the nanny and other domestic staff (cleaners, part-time cook, yard maintenance) means that I can continue with having a life, my career, time with my kids and vacations."

BUT NOW when confronted about SAHM grandparents all of a sudden the grandparents have jobs. So which is it? Do you have inbuilt childcare in your multi-gen household or are all adults working?

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