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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And remember that he may need things that are routine and really obvious to you, spelled out for him, and reiterated several times.[/quote]

Crazy.

This, folks, is why you shouldn't medicate and coddle your kids with executive functioning deficits. Stop with the special treatment in school and at home. Because then they grow up to be adults who can't carry their own weight. They need to learn how to succeed on their own, and that takes hard work and brute force a lot of times, and you cannot expect a spouse to run a 504 plan for another spouse, especially when kids are involved.[/quote]

I wrote the remark you responded to, an d the two above it, and I am a high-achieving, late-diagnosis 2e ADHD adult that fully carries my own weight. I succeed via hard work, brute force and surrounding myself with the right people, who are nothing like you. Maybe I could have worded what I said a little better, but it’s not about “being coddled” - the fact is that people with ADHD often have a processing speed issue. So if you’re giving long, complex instructions, I’ll be totally following along, but then if I get stuck trying to understand something in the beginning part of what you said, I might end up chewing on that and will completely miss—as in literally just not hear, at all—something you’ve said after the fact. I’m very direct and proactive about stopping people to ask for clarification, and people often just assume I’m hard of hearing. And it works. Sometimes we just need things repeated a few times. At any rate I was just trying to share with OP practical things that work for the way my brain is wired. You probably will never even bother to try to understand, and that’s fine—we’re used to it. I reciprocate your contempt in that I have no tolerance for hardline people like you and others in this thread, and your over-generalized, incorrect conclusions, who think shaming and name-calling is going to do anything for our productivity. Out of self-respect I learned to cut people like you out of my life early, and figured out how to get my engine going in a way that works for me. I am fully motivated around the house by love and admiration for my partner, as well as their kindness and understanding—we notice and appreciate each others’ efforts, and it makes me do and be more. All that said, I do agree with others that some of what OP describes seems to have been unfairly attributed to ADHD.[/quote]

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