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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And remember that he may need things that are routine and really obvious to you, spelled out for him, and reiterated several times.[/quote]

Crazy.

This, folks, is why you shouldn't medicate and coddle your kids with executive functioning deficits. Stop with the special treatment in school and at home. Because then they grow up to be adults who can't carry their own weight. They need to learn how to succeed on their own, and that takes hard work and brute force a lot of times, and you cannot expect a spouse to run a 504 plan for another spouse, especially when kids are involved.[/quote]

+1, these people who think it's reasonable for an ADHD spouse to just rely 100% on their non-ADHD spouse to accommodate them are either young, deluded, or just found a codependent relationship that works for them. Most people are not going to be willing to do this. In fact, most will not be capable of it. My DH has poor executive functioning and mine is better. But guess what, mine is not perfect. [b]I procrastinate, I struggle with motivation, I have write crap down in order to remember it. I've made mistakes. I'm not a machine. I may not have ADHD but I'm human and have a ton on my plate -- work, parenting, managing a chronic health issue, and issues with my extended family. I'm not low functioning but I'm not exactly high functioning either.[/b]

Sure, there might be SOME accommodation. I've accepted the fact that DH is just never going to plan a vacation or book a babysitter. He just won't. I can ask him but he doesn't know how and gets overwhelmed and then just won't. So that's an accommodation. But the day-to-day stuff -- helping with kids, helping with meals, cleaning, getting himself where he needs to be on time, paying attention to school deadlines, bills, etc.? Sorry, he's got to pull his weight. He uses phone reminders and some other tools. He volunteers for things that he finds easy or enjoyable (laundry, grocery shopping, cooking meals) which is great because then I can do other stuff and not feel resentful that he's making me assign him tasks or I'm going everything.

ADHD can be tricky but it does not exempt you from the responsibilities of being an adult. If you really think it does, best of luck to you when your spouse gets tired of dragging your dead weight around and divorces you, and then you have to do it all by yourself.[/quote]

I think we must be reading different threads because, while about half of the complaints here are valid and justified, the other people complaining would be spewing vitriol about you (wrt the bolded) if you were their spouse. [/quote]

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