Reply to WWYD? Being asked NOT to bring a new spouse and children

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[quote=Anonymous]Look, I think the college-aged kids will feel differently about this one day but for now, I think you have Thanksgiving with just the bio family and invite your brother and his new(er) family on Friday for a lunch. This might all be moot if they already have other plans for Thanksgiving. But it's worth considering that the affair and subsequent divorce is probably the most devastating thing that has ever happened to his bio kids and they are young adults who will gain perspective and realize that the anger is not energy well spent. They probably feel protective and loyal to their mom and this is how they show that.

But....the new SIL should come to peace with the fact that they may never view her as their step-mother or even particularly warmly. But, they will probably learn to put up with her being in the same room in a civil way. I know because I've been there and I remember the rage I felt and I would have appreciated solidarity from my family while I grew up, gained life experiences about how families are messy and figured it out. You can set the example by being kind to her and by giving your nephews time and space without judgement (and without fueling the rage) to figure it out. Also....your brother has some work to do. [/quote]

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