Reply to MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think this thread has gone the way OP had intended. Most of the reasonable posters are showing support for instead of bashing the MIL [/quote]

Um, no. Plenty of people disagree with you. Myself included. [/quote]

So, the people disagreeing think that MIL isn't allowed to purchase things for her own home? Who would agree with that nonsense? A few crazies do not make a majority.[/quote]

There’s a difference between being “allowed” and it being a red flag. Of course she’s allowed. That doesn’t mean it’s not a warning sign of some hefty expectations depending—again— on the scale of what she’s doing.

Someone with an entire nursery in their home set up for my unborn child would set off every parenting instinct to keep the kid away from them. Someone on hand with a thing of wipes in the brand I use when my kid needs an urgent change is my favorite person on earth in that moment. [/quote]

Give me a break. For all we know this is the first of many grandchildren to come with OPs DHs other siblings. MIL isn't going to steal the baby in plain sight.[/quote]

No one said “steal the baby” except for you.

The risk here is the suggestion that MIL is building a fantasy of what the grandchild will be doing, and then OP is going to have to deal with her disappointment while she’s postpartum with a newborn and MIL is sulking that her brand new bassinet is empty.

Again unless we know the scale of what MIL is doing I don’t think we can say for sure, but if she’s completely duplicating the registry? OPs husband should have a word.[/quote]

This X1000. If she is building a nursery that’s a very bad sign. Below are some of the things that the just excited boomer women have pulled in our extended family.

1. Wants to be in the delivery room or at least waiting at the hospital and able to see the baby within hours of it being born.wants to keep visiting at the hospital.
2. Wants to feed the baby formula while OP is trying to breast feed. 
3. Ignores DIL when DIL isn’t comfortable breast feeding around her.
4. Wants to take the newborn back to her house so DIL /son can rest but they don’t want the baby to leave the house.
5. Wants to show the newborn off to her friends. Has zero concern for newborn catching something.
6. Doesn’t follow safe sleep medical rules. 
7. Tries to extend every visit because everything is at her house.
8, Gets upset when son and DIL hire a nanny or babysitter. 
9. Makes passive aggressive comments about how she knows better and her son survived. 
10. Wants to go to pediatrician visits, expects to be in the loop on everything. [/quote]

100% all of these things are crazy, unless the parents have asked and want them there/to do these things. These are not actions that respect boundaries.[/quote]

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