Reply to Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Obviously you can never really know what you'd do in a certain situation, but I do for a fact know that when my marriage was really suffering over the course of a few years, I spent my energy trying to work on it, trying to get my husband to counseling, focusing on my children, trying to get us out on date nights more, etc. My husband, who was in the same crappy marriage (though obviously from a different perspective), chose to check further and further out and then have sex with the first woman he connected with who offered.

I've been in a bad place in marriage and it never crossed my mind to cheat or look elsewhere. [b]I have a really hard time understanding how cheating, particularly when the other person is married too, is a better option in someone's mind than just separating.[/b] [/quote]

I agree.  You sound like a good person who deserves a loyal partner.[/quote]

If the person wanted to actually end their marriage you would have more men (and women) leaving for their affair partners.  This is usually not the case. And not in all cases but sometimes the other person in the marriage is not willing to go to counseling. I'm not saying an affair is the answer but that its more complicated than that and people can make bad decisions when they're feeling very confused. [/quote]

The affair is wrong, I said an affair isn't the answer. But sometimes when you've tried for years to  work on your marriage and you get ZERO in return, it's easy to make a BAD choice.

So one partner not wanting to go to counseling = it's okay to have an affair with someone else.  Well, why the hell not.  If he's not going to do what you want to do in order to fix the marriage, then why should I?

This is not complicated.  Affairs are [b]WRONG[/b]. You can say whatever you want to justify it, you might feel better when you do, but at the end of the day, [i]it's still [b]wrong[/b][/i].[/quote][/quote]

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