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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So I am a person who was always raised that to be "fashionably late" to a party was polite--give the host(ess) a buffer of 15 minutes or so after the stated time just in case s/he is running a bit late. I will not opine on the correctness or lack thereof of this practice, or any other.

My question is, for all the people who were taught to arrive on the dot of the stated time, do you generally have the experience that you are the first one there, or are there many people there already? I am genuinely curious, because on the rare occasions that I have been on time/closer to time, I've been the first or one of the very first to arrive. I wonder if this is just about different social circles? I do not run in government/military circles, where perhaps punctuality is more valued? Our crowd is more academic/artistic types. 
[/quote]

+1.  We are UMC well educated professional types and all of this tracks with our experience as well.

For an actual coming-and-going party (adults), 30 minutes after the start time. 
For a dinner party, 15 minutes late. 
For a kids party, 15 minutes late. 
For an obligation which is time sensitive (tickets, dinner reservations etc), or where you are meeting someone at a destination (meeting at the mall or coffee), absolutely be on time.

But for the first three, give the host grace to get things set up.  I wonder for the adults who show up on time and are likely the only people there for 15+ minutes, do you smugly revel on how you're the only invitee who is on time for things? Or do you recognize that you are inconveniencing the host?

fwiw my father is Autistic, and he shows up to everything 5 minutes early because of anxiety, and his lack of social awareness means he doesn't notice how much he is inconveniencing and intruding.  [/quote]

When throwing a party, if I write 5 on the invite, that is the start of the party. If I don’t have my things together by 5, then I suck at hosting (has never happened). You are not an inconvenience when you show up on time. That is just absurd. [/quote]

I wonder if you host people very often. Or maybe you host just within your own extended family, so you don't realize that this is not the norm?

We host frequently - maybe every 2-3 weeks, we host: casual drinks with friends, dinner parties ranging from one other couple to 25 people for a sit down meal, bbqs, cocktail parties etc.  No one every comes at exactly on time.  [/quote]

Where do you live?  Wondering if this is regional. [/quote]

I’ve lived all over the east coast and this is not regional.  Showing up for a 6pm dinner party at 6pm is strange, if not rude.  [/quote]

Okay, but aren't "fashionably late" watches & clocks expensive ?[/quote]

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