Reply to Is there any way to convince a young man to step it up because he will never do better?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]But I have to go to college, work, grad school, work and sow my wild oats before I start dating for marriage. Duh. 30 seems about right to start looking for the special girl. Or whomever I happen to be dating at that time. [/quote]

Everyone thinks they can do better until they can't. They don't realize how quickly dating pool dries up and becomes leftovers.[/quote]

great reason to marry someone you're not actually that into![/quote]

Well, no but you need to br ready to settle for worse later.[/quote]

You people are so weird. Marriage isn't an issue of checking off some number of boxes. It's finding someone you can actually build a life with - and who you want to build a life with. There is no "settle for worse" - there is not being ready to make the compromises that life with another person entails, and then being ready to make those compromises. Ask the spouses of the people who marry too soon how happy everything is - I am going to guess, not very happy.

Marry when you are ready to marry. Marry someone who you get along with, who you can build a life with. That would be my advice. [/quote]

I've never heard any college-educated professional in real life say they regret marrying too soon. But I've heard many men and women express regret in waiting so long and what a waste those years were in retrospect. [b]Prolonged adolescence is an epidemic among American men.[/b] Life is not a video game, you don't get to re-set and everything comes back. These men need to be nudged to grow up before they lose what they can't get back.[/quote]

I am the PP - and there are plenty of divorces among the people I know who married young. They get married again - later. And those second marriages look a lot happier.

I know some people who married young and are still happily married, lo these 30 years later. But those are people who are either very traditional and probably wouldn't divorce, or who were exceptionally mature (or exceptionally compatible) at that young age.

I guess we both have our biases. I have nothing against people marrying young if they want to do it - I just think it's absurd and harmful to cluck over people who aren't ready to settle down yet and tell them they'll never do better! It's a big world out there - with a lot of great people in it.

As for the PP whose nephew can't seem to find a girlfriend at 35 - he's either not telling you the truth, or isn't actually serious about finding a girlfriend. He's probably always looking out for someone who's a little better. Well, that'll get you a lifetime of being alone (but also probably plenty of random s** if that's what you want).[/quote]

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