Reply to Wedding offenses: rank according to badness

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]None actually.

People can have any kind of wedding and guests can choose not to attend. I also always give a check as a wedding gift and i[b]f the wedding is very tacky and cheap,I will give less money[/b].[/quote]

This makes no sense. If the couple is stopped for funds and does a quaint or small affair you give [i]less money[/I] versus someone that does not need it you give more? [/quote]

Yes. I am not funding their future. I am giving according to what they put in their wedding cost and of course my relationship with them.

Gift giving is a complicated cultural and social phenomenon.  I give only what will be appropriately reciprocated. If the person is too poor or too cheap, then I have to give what the poor person can easily reciprocate or what the cheap person has the heart to spend..

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/what-does-sociology-teach-us-about-gift-giving-180948181/#:~:text=Mauss%20identified%20three%20obligations%20associated,which%20demonstrates%20the%20recipient's%20integrity.

[/quote]

great for you. I won't be letting Smithsonian magazine tell me how much society thinks I should give someone. [/quote]

You, I will do me.

Marcel Mauss studied gift giving in other cultures and realized the significance of it is far more than just plain old  giving. You can extrapolate some of it  for American society too, but, the way marriages, family, weddings  work in  American society…. These institutions do not have the same relevance  in peoples minds.  Instead of a significant social and family event, individual viewpoints and sensibilities is how the American weddings go down.

So, guests beware! Give only the amount that  does not make you feel like you were duped by the bride and groom. Hospitality is a major element through which I judge a wedding.

[/quote]

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