Reply to AITA for not wanting DH to give MIL 4K to clear a debt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes help her! She's your DH's mom!

Also, FWIW, there are plenty on here questioning your financial choices OP. God forbid, you need money in the future and your child's spouse makes judgements and refuses to help you out. [/quote]

Exactly how much of their savings do you think MIL is entitled to?  OMG, she's his mom! Give her the whole $40K! Give her his whole paycheck, why not? Let her have whatever she wants for her MLM "business". Your family can move into a studio apartment with the kids. It will be great. [/quote]

She's not entitled to anything but OP's husband has respectfully asked OP to do this for his mother. The kind thing to do (towards both the husband and the mother) is to give the 4k. [/quote]

But is it the kind thing to do?  How is spending 10% of their savings kind to OP or DH/OP's kids?

I've posted before (that I can relate to OP's "you're on your own" upbringing).  All I have to add now is that in many ways this is no different than either OP or DH wanting to spend something that is completely outside of their budget.  Go over your budget together to understand what loosing $4K means for your life.  I might change his mind.  It might change yours.  Maybe he'll see it means no vacations for a year.  Maybe you'll see it can be recouped with only giving up one dinner date a month.  What are your financial goals for your savings, and how does giving MIL $4K change that?  Focusing the conversation on the numbers takes the emotion out of it.  Its not that you're saying no, its that there are only so many dollars.  GL.[/quote]

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