Reply to Millennial men pitched themselves as equal partners. What happened?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Millennial men pitched themselves as equal partners. What happened? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Solidly millennial here (35) and I can only think of one person in my orbit that is a SAHM.

The men I know pull their weight within their relationships and with the kids, and both sides of the couple have jobs that are fairly equal (I would say most of us are at about $400k HHI.)

I worked my tail off for my career and my husband and I earn about the same. Why would I give that up? I couldn't be with someone who expected me to downshift my career or step away from the workforce... which is fine... because there are plenty of people with different outlooks on the situation and are better suited for each other.[/quote]

Solidly millennial male (41) here, and opposite for me. Most in my circle have SAHW. Of the two that don’t:  one wife works a couple of shifts at the hospital a week. The incremental money is important to that household. The second wife has some high GS job where she still makes less than 20% what her husband makes. The husband doesn’t get it from a *financial aspect*, but he shrugs his shoulders as that was the deal they made.

I think this is really an assortative mating issue. People who want a a SAH arrangement sort into those circles much earlier and date from that perspective because SAH is correlated with other identities people find important. FWIW, my wife told me on our second date that she would work if the family needed it, but she felt it was her calling to be a mother and we’ve been fortunate enough to live that out. [/quote]

Oh god thank you for posting this. I was starting to think I was a total freak. I THOUGHT I was going to be the high power career woman. Then I had my first child. And realized I had major adhd and was pretty useless at a corporate type job. My husband is focused and career oriented. All I wanted after holding my first baby was to be a full time mom. We gave up a lot to make it work financially. Now he runs his own company and we are doing well. We both feel like I’m needed at home now when some of my older kids are teens just as much as when they were all toddlers. And I won’t regret the time I get with them for a second. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics