Reply to I got an email telling me my daughter is a mean girl.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I am still reading this thread and digesting things. I am not 100% sure what I intend to do, but I think I have settled on a couple things:

1. I am not responding to the email. I don’t see how any good can come of it under any scenario. 
2. I am not going to the school. I don’t read the letter as threatening and in the absence of other information, I don’t see a reason to escalate yet. That could change. (FWIW, she goes to a public school). 
3. I want to talk to my daughter. I still need to think this through more but I feel like we should talk about this at least generally.

I will say this, anyone who believes 17 year olds are over mean girl behavior and would not engage in ostracizing others is wrong. Some are still fully engage, but definitely to a lessor degree than when younger. I believe this, and I have seen it because I have a close group of sorority sisters from college and I have heard upsetting stories. I do not believe that is an indictment of my daughter, but I do not believe age alone absolves someone of being a mean girl (or person), which is why I am trying digest this instead of being reactionary (which I am inclined to do because I love my daughter and think she is a good person).[/quote]

I think you are on the right track here.  I would 100% say do NOT respond to the email in anyway.  If something happens later down the road, you are on record of having been notified of your teen's behavior.

I would talk to my kid - not in an accusatory way, but just a more general way.  "I've been told there are some mean girl/bullying issues at school lately.  Anything you've noticed?" and then just a reminder to be kind.  [/quote]

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