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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My father did this to my mother when I was 8 years old. Announced we were moving across country but at least he was taking a job with another branch of his then employer. In our case it meant leaving all the family we were close to and very close best friends that I and my brother had throughout our early childhood. We also left the best schools in the country and moved to some of the worst, in the bottom five. My brother and I who were both gifted students spent the remaining years of our public schooling being unchallenged and thus underperforming.

I know that sometimes people have to move, but I think it really sucks to move kids around in childhood without very compelling reasons. Childhood is a challenging journey as it is, to be uprooted at some point from all you know and love seems unnecessarily cruel unless the family cannot survive without the move -[b] it shouldn’t be just on a parent’s whim[/b].[/quote]

Your mother should not have agreed. It was on both your parents.[/quote]

Mothers didn’t have much choice at the time.[/quote]

In what decade was this?[/quote]

The 1980s and 1990s for my mom. My dad was the breadwinner. [b]There was no choice[/b]. Not that long ago. This was common. [/quote]

Only if she didn't want to support herself, which yours did not, I guess. Come on. Women have been supporting themselves for decades before that. [/quote]

Most women working traditional jobs like a teacher, could not support themselves. My mom was mentally ill and could not hold down a job. No women in my family worked in those decades and assume that everyone did is ridiculous.[/quote]

And also you’re assuming that most women worked in the 1980s and 1990s and that’s not true. I grew up in a rural area, and only places like Washington DC had women that were working then like Matt, when I were I grew up almost no women worked unless they were teachers were married. There’s no way a woman could support herself where I lived if she was divorced. I literally did not know any moms who are working moms unless they were teachers at school and married. Most of the country had to stay at home moms in the 1980s and 1990s— not career women like now. You are assuming the rest of the country is like this area and that’s far from the case especially decades ago. Women couldn’t even have their own bank account until the 1970s so you don’t even know what you’re talking about.[/quote]

Those are some questionable generalizations you have made.  Although many women were still not working outside the home in the '80s many also were.  You said there's "no way" a woman could support herself if she was divorced?  My grandmother supported herself and three kids and her mother in law as a single working mother in the 1920s in a small town in Illinois.  My own mother supported herself and four kids after leaving my dad because he rarely paid child support, that was in the 1960s.  As far as women having a bank account, that's ridiculous, I had my own checking account in the late 1960s and my mom had had her own for many years before that.[/quote] Key word here is *and her mother in law* AKA childcare. There were no daycare centers in the 1920s. The major shipyard cities had them during WWII but beyond that it was well into the 70s and 80s before they were widespread. When my grandparents divorced in the late 40's, my mom had to live with her grandparents for a year while the divorce got sorted out. Then her two younger sisters ended up going to live with my grandfather and his mistress/wife because there were no daycare options in small town Kansas. My mom was in school by then and my grandmother didn't want to task her elderly parents with caring for two toddlers. It was a heart wrenching decision--they ended up going to live in Texas and my grandmother remarried and moved to Oregon.There was no email, no FaceTime, and phone calls were very expensive. Women who didn't have childcare were often faced with such decisions, because there wasn't a babysitter or daycare center on every street--and even if they were, women were paid about half of what men earned and had substantially fewer job options--few of which could support a family. [/quote]

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