Reply to The Research on Various Childcare Options

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Reply to "The Research on Various Childcare Options"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The elephant in the room that no one has mentioned - is the higher prevalence of daycare over time partially responsibility for increasing misbehavior in schools?

The “my rich friends chose daycare so it must be an great option” argument does not hold water with me. Some parents do what is best for themselves, not their kids. They may prioritize getting more hours of childcare (daycares are often open 10 hours, nannies rarely stay that long), they may not like the hassle of managing an employee and giving them access to their home, they may not like lowering HHI and cutting their budget so one spouse can quit. And they tell themselves through sickness after sickness after sickness that their child “loves” their daycare teachers and friends and that the child will “gain immunity” before starting Kindergarten.[/quote]
[b]
Most daycare parents stagger their schedules to reduce the amount of time the child is in care. [/b]

As far as parents doing what is best for themselves,.yeah that is absolutely true. And sometimes, what is best for the parents is also good for the family as a whole. The research all shows having a depressed mother is as bad if not worse for children than daycare. I had a depressed mother who was a SAHM and that was a huge factor in me choosing daycare. 
[/quote]

I don't know that this is true. We use the full 9 hours. You can't stagger your schedule if both parents (unfortunately) work a traditional 9-5 where office presence daily is required.[/quote]

But I should add, I agree with the rest of PP's reply. [b]I was a SAHM (by circumstances, not by choice) for a year and trust me it was much better and more enriching for my child to be in daycare. I was not happy with the arrangement and it showed[/b].[/quote]

But like why? Why do people have kids that they aren't happy to spend time with during their most vulnerable and significant years? Everyone keeps saying "If mom's not happy, it is bad for the kid' which seems to me like an excuse to not do what needs to be done.  It is so sad that in so many cases neither parent is willing to make any kind of pause or sacrifice for this human being that they chose to create, that didn't ask to be here. It is months of your lives, but the foundation of theirs. And then to get upset about nannies not doing their job well enough when you, the parent, didn't even want to do it. It is insane. You're not required to have them you know. [/quote]

I think your views are very extreme.  "Spending time with your baby during their most vulnerable and significant years" can be done without spending ALL your time with them. Parents with jobs still spend time with their kids, you know. And what do you mean parents aren't "willing to make any kind of pause or sacrifice"? We are sacrificing our free time, sleep, vacations, social events, etc. for our babies. Are you saying we should give up our careers too which for a lot of people forms part of their identity and that allows them to make money to support their family and give their kids more opportunities for the rest of their lives? I don't think paying someone else to look after your kids while you work means you aren't willing to make any sacrifice for your kids. You are asking for a huge sacrifice if you think all parents should just stop working and make no money for a few years. [/quote]

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