Reply to How do you stay married to an ASD HFA Aspergers husband?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Plus she can’t give up on her vision of a loving, involved husband who can take care of things.

But people tell her it won't happen and that he can still be a good person she can respect and get on with her life but she has to adjust her expectations and she's in denial. Till she gets to that realization I don't think she can really get the help she needs.[/quote]

It’s realizing two things:
1) she has no support and never will 
2) she will have to do everything and hand out easy tasks once in awhile to him, and hope for the best.

#1 will never be “acceptable”, but she will need to accept it as true. He has an invisible disability.

#2 is just how to function and have one’s mindset. Dont expect help, don’t expect it to be done right, don’t expect a discussion. Don’t expect that normal stuff in order to not get disappointed time and again.

As for “being a good person” and “respectable”…. I would go there and twist myself into a pretzel pretending. Maybe he’s doing his best which what he’s got, maybe not. If she has kids she needs to focus on them and friends. Therapy for all at the right time.

Dont accommodate dysfunction. That’s not healthy. 
Minimize - by cutting it out entirely, and stay sane. [/quote]

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