Reply to How do you stay married to an ASD HFA Aspergers husband?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. Again.
I'm really begging this time. Does anyone have a marriage that's solid to an Aspie? Anyone here?
A few posters have said that they lowered their expectations and find satisfaction elsewhere. Others have said it's impossible to have a mutually satisfying relationship with an Aspie. 
Unless anyone has anything helpful to say, this seems like a tapped out thread. And so disappointing. Like my marriage. :([/quote]

OP have you had a full neuropsych eval? I think you might be a good candidate for professional help[/quote]

No she’s an empath and suffering from Cassandra Syndrome. Plus she can’t give up on her vision of a loving, involved husband who can take care of things. Unfortunately when life got busier than two single people working, he could not adapt. oP needs to grieve. This marriage will never be that.  Then she needs to think objectively. 
She can’t keep walking in the insane asylum and arguing with the person who thinks he’s Ghandi or Jesus. She needs to detach, ignore, nod, and do everything. Live for the kids or yourself.

Perhaps seeing a few divorce lawyers would also provide info on how coparenting or living separately could look like? Or plan an exit for once the kids are in college.

But for sure: Detach, Get social with friends and activities, Expand your orbits socially, Keep working to save your sanity; and Do what’s best for your kids. Try to get weekly housecleaning or housekeeper or Nannie’s and sitters to take a load off.

After she does that she can try to see if he mirrors her. She can act happy for two weeks. Just fake it. Talk about exciting things, plan some things, praise everyone, etc. (and continue to do all the work of course). But see if HE mirrors HER and he feels calmer and safer to try to cook a meal, or plan something fun, or be in charge of more things. 
There will be more ups and downs in this type of relationship. But he won’t go anywhere, but he may take your cues.[/quote]

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