Reply to High School Boys Struggling at our Big 3

Forum Index » Private & Independent Schools

Reply to "High School Boys Struggling at our Big 3"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I have a son and daughter. Both were exposed to discussions about racism, sexism, classism, antisemetism, islamaphobia, homophobis, etc.  They learned at school that history shows that race, gender, religion, etc. have been used to structure society and often times in ways that advantage some groups over others  and to vest power in certain groups over others.  We discussed these issues at home too.  Maybe because I have both a son and a daughter I wanted my son and my daughter to be aware of toxic beliefs and social/cultural norms that are harmful.  Here’s a simple one—boys don’t/shouldn’t cry.  That’s actually harmful to men and boys.  Holding in emotions and disconnecting from your feelings can cause physical harm to the body like increased heart disease, high blood pressure, and depression for example.  Men should be the bread winner and being able to support your family determines whether you are really a man or not.  Responsibilities can be shared.  You and your spouse can decide how to structure things.

I have helped women escape domestic abuse.  You know what drives a lot of this abuse?  The husband/boyfriend’s belief that he has the right to control his wife/girlfriend because he is a man and is top dog in the hierarchy.  Do all men abuse women?  No they don’t but how do you stop it?  You raise your boys to be good men.  Men that not only don’t abuse women but work to end the violence against women.

At my old school all the parents who said my son comes home feeling bad never had the types of conversations we had at our house and some of the families of the other boys in the class had.  I’m white and some white parents would talk about how conversations about race made their white kids feel uncomfortable or bad.  They thought the school shouldn’t talk about race in a way that made their white kids uncomfortable.  I said what about the black and brown students?  Should our children’s comfort be more important than their’s. I told them that I was decidely uncomfortable with making my kid feel better at the expense of their black and brown classmates and friends so we talk about uncomfortable issues like race in our house.

Maybe the school needs to do a better job of guiding these discussions but maybe you could help your son look at what’s making him uncomfortable.  It bothers my son that my safety talk with his sister includes how to try to protect yourself from sexual assault.  Our talk with our son was to look out for his friends including his female friends.  If you notice a young women drunk or high, keep an eye out and make sure she gets home safe.  We talk about these issues so that he doesn’t grow up to be one of the guys from Mad Men like Don Draper.  We want him to be a respectful, thoughtful, empathetic, resposible adult male.  Part of that is talking about how some beliefs or values around masculity can be toxic.  He’s not damaged by those discussions.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics