Reply to Why Was My Son Deferred from Duke ED?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] You are so misguided. Absolutely parents plan the journey. What sports to play and which activities to do. It is a 100% planned![/quote]

You are embarrassingly wrong.  I have one of those kids that loves to argue with people so reads up on topics he is interested in, follows his passions with his extracurriculars and that comes through when you know him and on his app, and is academically driven and self-motivated.  Also plays a travel sport. We actually encourage him to dial it back, but that’s not his nature.  There may be kids who do it for packaging, but I would think by high school it would be almost impossible to force your kid into ECs, etc.[/quote]

+1 by high school kids might get a little help or nudge by parents, but most of the high achieving ones are able to do so on their own accord. At that point the standard has been set internally and changing that would take a lot of help from the parents, which mostly doesn’t happen[/quote]

I agree that most of these kids are hard chargers on their own - but don't fool yourself - there are schemer parents out there that absolutely make a difference. For example - have kids play squash for example and travel oodles just to be ranked in a very very low volume sport to get another leg up on their legacy admissions. There are other examples too. There's certainly more schemes out there beyond Varsity Blues. Plenty of customers in the college game.[/quote]

Agree here. DS has a friend with a mom who did this with both her kids. Of course, she claims that she is in no way involved with any of her kids' lives, but I've overheard enough from their friend group to know that is not the case. Look, I'm even fairly friendly with the mom and I know what she has done. It's low key, but it is not the "I'm not involved in the process." And yes, the kid played squash, asked for all his BM gifts to go towards his "passion" project (which just happened to be where his mom was volunteering), etc. Did similarly for the musically inclined daughter, who had a similar passion project. Of course passion was never used, but come on, even the friends knew it.[/quote]

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