Reply to S/O How do you justify having an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think most people do try to "justify" it. They know it's wrong, but for whatever reasons they do it anyway. There are a lot of reasons that make sense and a lot that don't. [/quote]

They compartmentalize and figure no one is getting hurt that way. They are wrong when the walls come down eventually but it’s what they think.[/quote]

This.  All the time.  They think if they love their spouse and don't bad mouth her, use complete discretion, not someone in their circle that she will never find out so they are protecting her.  They think that show loyalty and respect. [b]They will outwardly lie to the OW and say all kinds of crap[/b], but to the wife they merely use lies of omission which is another way they can do it in their conscience.  It's an escape thing, using someone to escape their own self-hatred and unfulfilled dreams.  Many are depressed and use this as poor coping mechanism.  What's telling is how quickly they throw the OW under the bus and cut contact.  This isn't a 'person'.  This is a sex toy they can throw in the trash.[/quote]
I don't think this is usually true. I think married people cheat with each other a lot more frequently than a married person and a single person and both the married APs have zero desire to leave their marriages and they both understand this. Someone isn't always being played in the affair relationship. But yeah, obviously it's awful for the partner being cheated on. [/quote]

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