Reply to Anyone else here struggle with your feelings about ppl who don’t work?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are all crazy. You are so quick to judge individuals based on like 4 facts about their lives. This reflects your own limitations and unhappiness, not theirs. Claiming to be worried that they will be in a bad position if they divorce? Girl, please.

Most SAHPs work. They are scrubbing toilets and wiping butts and doing laundry and running errands and making dinner. Even the stuff people complain is "make work" -- some of the school organizing, the decorating and organizing, the trips to Target... every job has some BS make-work in it. You really want to sit there and line your day up with a SAHMs to see which of you is more productive? Y'ALL ARE COMPLAINING ON DCUM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORK DAY. Me too. None of us is busting our butts.

Sure, some of them might have wealth from their spouse or their family that enables them to outsource everything and lead lives of leisure. If you were independently wealthy without needing to work... would you go into an office every day and send your little emails and attend your little meetings and deal with the petty beaurocracy in your little organization? Where do you work? Law? Lobbying? Consultant? Insurance industry? I know you aren't nurses and school teachers because if you were, you'd be working not right, not fussing about "lazy parasites" on DCUM.

Your really going to tell me that you would work even if you absolutely didn't have to, and that whatever it is you do is more inherently valuable than taking care of children or a family home.

I'm a working mom and I think you all are self-important and ridiculous. My DH and I joke often about how long it would take us to quit our jobs if we were suddenly wealthy. As long as it takes to communicate my decision to leave to my employer, that's how long. I'm not a jerk, so I'll give you my standard two weeks to "ease the transition." Then I'm taking a year off to relax, then I'm finding some "life purpose" type job that probably doesn't even pay money where I can contribute without having to do all the dump little BS that I do in my money-making job because I need the money.

And you'd all do the same. Some of you wouldn't even go find your life's purpose, you'd just just keep going on vacation. You'd start decorating the house.

You are all full of it! You're just mad because you are working and work isn't that fun and you resent people who don't have to work. The end.[/quote]
I don’t think this is true and I’m sad for you that you hate your job that much [/quote]

Where did I say I hate my job? I really like my job. Great coworkers, flexible schedule, interesting work. And I’d still quit it if I didn’t have to work. [b]I’d start a foundation and take up painting. Or open an art gallery. Or build a museum somewhere that doesn’t have one. [/b]I would not report in to my weekly team meeting or take calls from my one needy client or give up two weekends a year for retreats.

I love my job in the relative sense, as in this is a great job for a person who must work for a living with my temperament, education, and skill set. I don’t love it in the absolute sense like I love my children, fresh air, the sound a well-played string instrument makes, art museums, gentle animals, or freshly baked bread. I would not do my job if they didn’t pay me and I will bet you wouldn’t either.[/quote]

Those things you mentioned are work. And I don’t think anyone looks down on SAHMs who have meaningful pursuits like those. Or meaningful responsibilities like young kids, SN kids, aging parents to care for, medical issues to handle. Also, I don’t think SAHMs should care if someone looks down on them. They should live their best life. We all should.[/quote]

I believe PP's point is that a lot of people who look down at SAHMs for not working have no room to criticize. Many are just paper pushers who write emails to help a big company make more money and would jump at the chance to leave. And many of those would just relax and start doing the things these "lazy" SAHMs do like spend a good chunk of a workday decorating the house.

I think that defensiveness is getting in the way some of you understanding PP's point.

Also, no, SAHMs shouldn't care if somebody looks down on them, but I'm sure you can also agree people shouldn't look down on SAHMs and instead just live their best lives. [/quote]

There is sexism at play here though. I wonder how many would struggle not to find it weird if a dh had stayed home when kids were young and then once they are at school during the day he still didn’t have any other strings to bow. There is no way that ppl would not privately wonder what is up there. It’s just that as society modernizes, more ppl are having this same thought about sahms.[b] Esp now that work is so much more flexible[/b] and volunteering can be remote - it is sort of more and more salient. I guess it feels like where previously it was kind of an un questioned societal ‘given’, now there’s naturally a move to kind of noticing it. 
Should anyone care what any other human being does is a different question but clearly that happens whether it should or not [/quote]

Remote and “flexible” work just makes women have to take on more as they continue to do most of the household labor. [/quote]

Op - disagree. Remote and flexible has been a game changer for me and many other moms [/quote]

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