Reply to Fiancé won’t put me on the title of our new house

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Fiancé of many years is buying a house (second home).  He refuses to put me on the title and says it’s because I can’t pay the mortgage (I’m a stay at home mom and work part time).  I’m not on the title of the house we reside in currently either.  I guess if something happens to him, his older kids (he was married once before) will inherit the houses and I’ll be left with nothing.  What happens in this situation?  I am almost 50 and he’s five years older.  I’m not money hungry but am very concerned that I won’t have a place to live with my kids (one of which is his) if something happens to him.  [/quote]

Get a job[/quote]

DP. I think all of you knee-jerk "Get a job" PPs failed reading comprehension. She already works a part time job. And we do not know if there are reasons (financial or any other type) why she might need to work ONLY part time and be available for the kids. Hers, his and theirs. So much judgement and reflexive "get a job" response on this thread when you don't know all the circumstances. The bottom line of any answer is quite siimply, OP and her fiance need to go together to consult an experienced attorney who has handled a lot of real estate and estate business and who can lay out what they should do for maxiumum protection in the event the fiance dies or they split up. That's all she needs to know: Consult a real expert, not DCUM's judgemental ninnies. [/quote]

His children are adults. I'm very sure she doesn't need to be available to them.

The answer "get a job" is reflexive because OP is here complaining about financial insecurity. Getting a job is the shortest path to that.

Your "quite simply" answer is ridiculous.  It is not what they "should" do.  It is what her fiance is willing to do. He is the one holding the cards.  He already declined to put her on the deed.  I'd say that's a pretty good indication of what he is willing to do.  And in these circumstances, getting a job (which is fully within her control) is a much safer bet than begging a man for financial security (which is entirely at his mercy).  Relying on yourself is the best strategy.[/quote]

DP. I don’t think anyone here has disagreed that OP needs to become more financially independent by getting a better and FT job. But it’s also important for her not to lose sight of the fact that she is being mistreated by her “fiance” and it has resulted in her being financially vulnerable. She needs to know that in order to take next steps. [/quote]

Don't you think she knows that already? she posted, after all.

I disagree that her financial vulnerability is the result of being mistreated.  He supported her stay-at-home lifestyle as well as two children who are not his.  I'd say that's pretty generous. [/quote]

It is absolutely mistreating a woman to string her along promising to marry her for 7 years, while she stays home caring for your house and your children, then never marry her and also refuse to put any assets in her name.  
[/quote]

I don't disagree, yet OP has made the choice to stay and accept the situation, which is on her. For now, I recommend that OP get a full-time job and concentrate on shoring up her own retirement savings. I would literally save everything I could at this point, as OP may not even be eligible for social security benefits. As it seems he won't marry her, she needs a back-up plan for when this man dies or decides to end the relationship, whichever comes first.[/quote]

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