Reply to We can’t afford it but she wants it. What do I say?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DW wants to send our kids to private schools (HS and MS). The publics near us are okay but not great. I would like to send them to private too but it would put a lot of pressure on our finances. We definitely don’t qualify for financial aid. Even if we tighten our budget (and reduce our savings contribution to zero) we would still be short every month (around $500 to $1k depending on how much we tighten). We have a decent e-fund but I’d like to save it for emergencies and not covering any gaps that might come from this.

When I brought these concerns up, she said she would take money out of their college fund to cover it, which isn’t as robust as it should be, and even reduce her retirement savings. She also seems to assuming we’re going to be making more in later years. This just concerns me on so many levels, esp if something unexpected were to happen (job loss, car breakdown, etc.) I don’t want to jeopardize our finances but not sure how to help her see how this could impacts us. Help![/quote]

It's too hard to tell from your post if you really can't afford it or not.
What does cutting savings down to zero really mean? To some people that actually means a nominal amount of 5 - 10% per paycheck. They make so much that such amount feels to them like zero.
How much do you already have in savings? Are you talking like 2 years of living expenses for emergency funds? Where are those savings? Are they liquid or does it mean you have to cash something in and might take a tax hit?
You are right - you can't bank on the idea that you will definitely make more in later years.
No college savings might or might not be a problem. How much do you already have saved for college?
Would you still be putting thousands each year towards vacations? Gifts?
I wouldn't waste the money on private middle school but consider private high school but know why. Do you think it will give your kid a leg up in college admissions?  Make sure to check where students are going to college. Many times the local private schools have a lot of kids going to the same colleges as the run of the mill public high school. 
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I mean, their HHI is 220k and they have TWO kids that the wife wants to put in private. Most of us at that HHI don’t have an extra $50-80k in the budget. [/quote]

I don't see how the wife thinks this is even remotely a possibility based on your current income.  My husband and I make about $250K a year and we have two children.  We made closer to $220K when our children were still in daycare, and it felt like we were being crushed financially when we were paying about $40K a year for both of their daycare tuition.  The only way this is possible is if either or both of you start making significantly more money.  I'd say you need to make at least an additional $100K a year, and even then your finances would feel tight.

[b]Another thing to consider is that people who send their kids to private schools that are around $30K a year will be on a VERY different level then you from a financial perspective.  You and your kids will feel pressure to keep up with the jones.  You will feel pressure to put your kids in the best activities, to go on expensive trips, buy expensive clothes, and send them to expensive camps.  None of that will be possible on your current salary.    
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If you can't significantly increase your income, and quickly, do not do it.[/quote]

The social aspect is always ignored for some strange reason. Class matters no matter how hard americans try to deny this.[/quote]

Ya, your kids will be miserable even if you could figure out the finances (you can’t).  We would hesitate and we have a seven figure HHI.  Consider people like us are average at privates in this area.[/quote]
That’s just not true. Maybe if you pick the most expensive private school it is. 
There is a huge range within privates in terms of tuition and parent incomes. I can guarantee you a seven figure HHI is NOT average at our private. [/quote]

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