Reply to What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is always the parents fault and I am not being sarcastic.[/quote]

Op here, I will say that DH was my most challenging kid. [b]He was headstrong and demanding from the time he was a baby. He was rarely content and cried a lot as a baby. He fought potty training and putting on clothes. I would dress him, he would take it off.[/b]  If we wanted him do his chores, he would argue about why it was unfair or he shouldn't have to do it - for a much longer time than the chore would take. He dropped out of college and blamed us because shouldn't have made him go in the first place. This is his personality.[/quote]

Right up until my mother died she would throw in my face how I cried a lot as a baby and never wanted her to rock me. As if I was being mean to her, as if I should apologize for how I was as a BABY and TODDLER. Please do not do this to your son.[/quote]

+1. My dad still talks about how much it hurt his feelings when I as a 2-3 year old would cry when my mom left for work and how I liked my mom more than I liked him. Yes, really. I knew/know it’s ridiculous for him to say this or feel this way and bring it up still 30+ years later but to be honest I do feel a twinge of guilt for “hurting his feelings.” I think my dad and other adults who do stuff like this (such as possibly OP) are narcissistic.[/quote]

His feelings are still hurt. Otherwise he would have forgotten about it. Wait until you become a parent, you'll have your feelings hurt too.[/quote]

DP, this is going to blow your mind, but many of us have children and because of that can see how wrong our parents were.[/quote]

And this is going to blow YOUR mind: the same thing will happen to you when your kids grow up. You are teaching them not to forgive your failings as a human being but to hold them against you forever, in the most righteous way imaginable: thinking THEY will never be as bad a parent as YOU have been. Have fun with that.[/quote]

My children are in their 30's, one has children of his own. I was honest with them about my abusive childhood, how therapy helped me and that each generation can do better. When you know better, you do better. I have a very open and close relationship with both my kids and apologized when necessary. I am having fun with my kids and grandchildren.[/quote]

Thank you for sharing this. I truly hope I can say the same thing 20 years from now. Every last word. Thank you! ❤️[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics