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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why did you ever talk to your friend about the book club? My guess is you wanted to boast or show how intellectual you are or how many friends you have. I guess you can say that the group has a standing agreement not to invite new members because if everyone did, the size would grow untenable. How about you ask her to launch a new book club which you will also participate in? You can read two books a month, right? [/quote]

This.  If you didn't want her to join your "highly exclusive" club, you shouldn't have mentioned it.  You don't sound like much of a friend.  [/quote]

Pretty soon her friend should know what type of a friend the OP is to her. I find this to be very sad. [/quote]

This is probably why some of you don't have friends. START SLOW. OP said her book club was made up of members who had known each other for years. Her new friend is a neighbor. It takes time to become actual friends.

Calm down. Give your relationships some time. You'll slowly grow some friends.[/quote]

I have friends but, how do you take it to the next level? If you never ask the answer will always be no.  [/quote]

I know several women like this.  Absolutely never reciprocate, but get hurt feelings when they aren’t included. One even tried inviting herself to my vacation home for a weekend.

Be patient. Continue doing things together.  It will happen, PP -- it takes time. It's built up slowly. The OP's book club went through a life-altering experience together and it's harder when you're not going through that with others but it will happen.

Also invite some of the people you'd like to socialize more with over to your house for something.[/quote]

Most of these people I have known for three years.  That should be 'slow' enough.  Look if you don't want to invite me don't keep telling me about how much you socialize together without me!  [b]And I have a terrible house for entertaining.[/quote][/b]

Ah, yes, the old “you should invite me even though[b] I’m never going to reciprocate.”[[/b]/quote][/quote]

I never said that. I just said my home isn't the best place. I could do other things. Plus, they like to entertain in their homes!  Think things like poker night which they would do regardless.[/quote]

I've been thinking about you. Once when I moved into a new neighborhood one of my neighbors came to my door to invite me to her book club/womens group. I was so frazzled from my move that I just looked at her with pinwheels for eyes and said thank you. It never came up again. I feel bad that I let that opportunity slip through my fingers but I just.....couldn't. I was overwhelmed. Neither of us mentioned it again.

Did something similar happen to you with your group? Did they ask you to join them once when you couldn't go, and now they're over the idea or assume you've established that you just don't want to join them?

Sorry to take the thread off to the side....[/quote]

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