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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would love a reading.  I’ve been a widow for 2 years and I am still faking it at life.  I don’t care about anything.  Will the joy ever return?[/quote]

Hello.  First, I just want to say that I am so sorry to hear this is something that you are going through.  I send you lots of love and healing energy.

So, I don’t know if this is going to mean anything to you, but I had an image of you sitting on a log by a body of water looking out.  It was very peaceful and had a loving energy to it.  It also could have been you in a canoe or kayak on the body of water, but the energy was the same.  If this does not mean anything to you, it could mean that you may find being in an area or situation like that to be therapeutic.  It could be a good place for you to process your emotions and let the floodgates open.  I also believe if you are not currently seeing a therapist, you really should consider it.  2 years is not that much time compared to how long you were them and grieving is not a quick endeavor. I do know that your spouse would want you to be happy and that it is possible to have that joy return.  I suggest making an alter for them.  Find a space that you can dedicate to it.  It could be somewhere that you pass often, or more private if that is what you desire.  In that space place a photo or two, little mementos, and maybe a candle.  When you miss them, go to the alter and just talk to them.  Let them know how you are feeling.  How your day went.  How things are going in your life.  The more often you do it, you may even start to notice signs and synchronicities of them that will allow you to feel they are still with you…because they are.  While there physical presence is no longer here, you still hold their energy in your heart and mind.  They will always be with you in that way.  This can and will pass, but it’s going to take time.

You seem to be someone who feels their emotions deeply and believe it or not, that will actually help you learn to adapt to your new life.   I pulled the 10 of Wands and the King of Cups in reverse and this is a burden that you are carrying because of the loss.  This is very normal and part of the process.  I also pulled the 3 of Cups along with the 2 of Swords and I feel that close friends and family can be a huge support to you during this time if you allow them to be and let them in.  The queen of Swords in reverse with the 7 of Wands is indicating that this may be something you are holding inside and trying to show strength.  Part of your healing journey will be allowing others in where you normally wouldn’t.  That can be a scary thought, but it could also help you to release some of the things you are keeping in.  I have the 7 of Swords reversed along with The Chariot on the bottom and that is saying to me there will be movement in a forward direction eventually.  Allowing others to know of your internal struggles with be the key to help get the momentum going.

Lots of love to you.  [/quote]

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