Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Parents have zero obligation to protect the image of the cheater. There is a difference between disparagement and refusing to lie for someone. Cheaters always want to believe what they’ve done is No Big Deal, and why aren’t you over it yet? So it’s always so curious why then that NO ONE MUST KNOW about this little, minimal thing they may have done, that you shouldn’t feel so upset about?[/quote]

Per usual, you care more about holding the cheaters accountable than protecting the kids. You’re not shielding the cheater for their own good. If your husband cheats on you and doesn’t have kids then whatever, take out an ad in the local paper! But when you have kids you make a commitment (or should have made a commitment) to put their interests first. And the reality is that kids don’t do well when they’re put in the middle and they (generally) do better when they have positive loving relationships with both parents. If that’s possible then both parents should be striving for it.[/quote]

The onus for “putting the kids first” and the loving family relationship is put on the non-cheating spouse. The cheater can just not come home (because he or she is already hooking up with a new person) and it’s all ok. [/quote]

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