Reply to I regret having kids. I don't like being a mom. And it's affecting my marriage

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Reply to "I regret having kids. I don't like being a mom. And it's affecting my marriage"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel similarly to you, OP. I have two mid elementary aged kids. I liked the baby stage well enough with one, but then my second came and she was colicky and screams through toddlerhood and it was just so hard. Now my kids speak to each other with venom and fight all the time and I hate living in a home with all this nastiness and negativity. I try to keep patient, model kindness, give them a chance to try again when they say something nasty and tell them continually “we don’t talk to each other like that”, but it’s awful. It triggers the hell out of me. We al need therapy but we don’t have the time or means and of course DH thinks therapy is shameful if we need it. Effing great times over here. My poor kids are going to be raised in a sad and stressed home just like I was and it sucks. [/quote]

Kids model behavior, that kind of nasty interaction style is usually something they learn from parents. How is your husband talking to you, and vice versa?[/quote]
Good insight and question. I have thought about this. DH and I are kind to one another, though not overly sweet. We are sometimes playful but we do ignore each other a bit because we are swamped and burnt out. I have asked DH “Am I a nasty person? Do I speak like this at home?” But he says no. If anything I might be too harsh with my kids but not DH. I am working on it, I really am. It’s a vicious cycle because the screaming, hitting, and bad behavior make it difficult for me to meet it with a kind and calm tone of voice. My words are never mean, but certainly I think my tone can be harsher than I intend because I’m stressed and depressed. So yeah, people say “get therapy” like that’s not a 20 hour proposition to find a provider that is taking new patients, takes your insurance, and isn’t 50 miles away and has availability in the next year. [/quote]

I found taking a parenting class better and more helpful than going to therapy. Try Parent encouragement program in Kensington, they have classes online.[/quote]

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