Reply to Elite Colleges’ Quiet Fight to Favor Alumni Children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If I were a legacy or big donor kid, legacy/donor admissions would make me really question my worth. Every other admissions category comes with a personal challenge and merit. Athletes are exceptionally hard workers (I’m not one btw, but do not understand the unhinged DCUM haters). First-gen did not have the family assistance. URM have faced racism. But legacy and donor kids did literally nothing to merit their admissions. It had to mess with their heads. They must know they are only there because of pure luck. Idk. I can’t understand why people want that for their kids. [/quote]

My kid is a legacy who would not have gotten into the top 20 that he did without that status. It wasn't alone legacy that got him in, but also the multi-million dollar gifts from his family over the last 60 years. The thing is, he worked incredibly hard--as hard as any kid could--at a very intense independent school. He is incredibly bright but has ADHD and there was just no way, despite his 6-7 hours of homework a night, meeting with teachers, ECs, all of it--and probably more than 99% of his peers--that he could get straight As. He got into great schools, just not quite as high as the one that legacy got him. He chose it anyway, with some trepidation. He says that sometimes he feels "imposter" syndrome (I explained that's not exactly what that is), but he knows he worked every bit as hard as his classmates who didn't get in. So why does he deserve it less? He worked harder than most and is highly intelligent. If you think he didn't deserve it, then your argument must be that only those with a very certain kind of intelligence, regardless of work ethic, should get in. Is that what you think?[/quote]

He didn’t work harder that most. You need to dispense with that lie. He certainly did not work harder than a kid who has to work a 20-hour per week job in addition to getting higher grades than your DS. He didn’t work harder than an athlete who kept up a crushing training schedule while getting grades similar to your son’s. He didn’t work harder than a kid who had to get higher grades while also negotiating the college application system for the first time in his extended family.

Your son has figured out that his admission was based on reasons other than his own merit and accomplishments. You are bizarrely trying to create a fantasy world where that is not the case, whether to protect him or you, I don’t know. But your entire post reeks of self-delusion. Look, your DCs admission was bought and not based on his own merits. He sees it (a credit to him). It is you who are telling yourself fantasies to avoid the truth. [/quote]

+1 This poster has a complex that her excessively privileged kid is a victim of unfairness of the world.  Her ADHD kid could probably do nothing and live off his family's trust funds his whole life and end up better off than a first gen college student who works his butt off.    But nothing will convince people like that they are privilieged.  To them, they are working hard and earned every penny of their vast inherited wealth.[/quote]

Oh my gosh, when did I say I didn't know I was privileged? Actually, for the record, I was not born or raised privileged. In fact, and this is especially for the jerk bashing JMU, I myself was a first-gen college student and went to JMU. I was a recruited athlete, worked hard, and then you know what I was able to do from there? Get a great job, then marry really well! Have I been privileged since I married well 20 years ago? Yep. Am I more privileged than most POC? Yes again. But you are making ridiculous assumptions about me based on my defense of legacy admissions. My son did go through hell to get through high school and yes, worked as hard as (fine, almost) any teenager you could meet. One of his best friends killed himself and a close family member dropped dead right in front of our eyes during his junior year. And this kid just kept on going. You don't know him and just because he couldn't get a straight A average doesn't make him less worthy. Frankly, being born to a wealthy father doesn't make him less worthy. Not his fault. Why aren't you bashing all the well-off private school kids who go to top colleges? Do you have a problem with them, too? Because you seem to think that anybody with some privilege doesn't deserve it. The vast vast majority of kids going to top 20 universities are getting in based on any number of criteria, the most important of which is evidence that they can do the work. So, instead of wasting so much time worrying about the rich kids who you seem to think are going to take that spot away from your kid, why not instead raise a kid who can do the work? If you weren't able to, then too bad. I guess it's JMU for him, too.[/quote]

Some pretty miserable angst ridden people on here today it's fun to watch them bellow, howl and squirm.  Good for your kid.[/quote]

I think the delusional PP is the clearly miserable one? She can’t seem to handle the reality that her child’s admission wasn’t based on his own merits? That seems pretty miserable to me. Idk. I don’t really understand her desperate self-delusions but whatever. [/quote]

The only delusional people here are the one's that continue to say the same thing over and over and over again.  Everyone gets it, you want to pile onto the lady on an anonymous forum and denigrate her family and child because you have an opinion you feel is virtuous.  Get a life people, sit down and STFU, you have far surpassed the pro legacy people in your vitriol and lack of class.[/quote]

You are saying “sit down and STFU” and complaining about vitriol and lack of class at the same time. You’ve got as many self-delusions as the crazy legacy mom. [/quote]

Ok keyboard warrior.[/quote]

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