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[quote=Anonymous]BIL will either divorce when the child graduates HS or be dragged down himself.

The child will either be severely ill and a shut in like her mother or will have little to nothing to do with them if she gets help.

That he married someone who is this sick and that he lives like this and ALLOWED HIS CHILD to live like this suggests there is something up with him, too.

OP, do NOT send him info on what could be wrong with SIL. Send him info to help his daughter and help him get support in place to help himself.

You are all codependent and enmeshed. Why is your NIECE not a focus for her father or you and DH? She is showing signs of mental illness, is living in a home controlled by mental illness and has a largely absent and dysfunctional father. She may well have nutritional deficiencies herself. It remains to be seen if she is able to change in a healthier environment, but she needs therapeutic support STAT. If her own disordered eating is stabilized, a boarding school might be a better environment for her. Focus where change is possible. Hint: it ain't your SIL who in all likelihood is only going to stay the same or become sicker. Why does she have such a hold over all of you? Your niece is a CHILD and the adults are NOT stepping up. [/quote]

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