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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am mildly Team OP, but 12 days is really a ton of time away from a 4 and 6 year old. I wouldn’t do it, even though OP clearly made careful arrangements to make sure the kids had fun activities and MIL was not overburdened. MIL is ridiculous for canceling 3 days before the trip. That’s just awful.

The thing I find most shocking about this situation is that OP and her DH were going to pay the MIL for babysitting. I’ve never heard of that, and I grew up lower income and am now UMC. Is that actually a common thing? No grandparent I know would accept money for watching grandkids, though it’s very common for kids to either have parents move in with them or to pay for assisted living costs. I found it jarring that OP’s DH thought this plan was good because it was a money making opportunity for his mom. [/quote]

x1000 all of this. I personally think a 12 day away plan was questionable to begin with, considering the ages of the children. But I am also impressed by the very expensive planning OP put into place to make this all as easy as possible on her MIL. MIL's last minute balk, and her messaging that she thinks she's being taken advantage of would really set me off if I were in OP's shoes. It would likely mean a permanent riff between us. And the whole paying her for babysitting?! Of course MIL shouldn't have to incur costs herself (for food, transporting the kids, etc.) but actually paying her a childcare wage is just strange. Are you guys going to charge her someday if she needs someone to drive her to doctor's appointments, or the time you will spend visiting her in a nursing home. The whole concept is strange.

And really weird that part of the reason DH doesn't want to throw in the towel on the whole plan is because MIL is counting on that money?!?!? What the hell? Yeah, if it were me, I would cancel the entire trip. Your husband needs to go for work and then he can come home. You guys should do try this trip again next summer with the kids. I would not have MIL watch my kids ever again. And don't pay her a penny.  [/quote]

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