Reply to Wife wants a house cleaner instead of preschool

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My wife isn't cool with getting rid of weekly house cleaning so we can pay for preschool. She has a part-time job on the weekends as a concierge. She's been a stay-at-home mom since our oldest was born. I am on board with her working or not working. Our first child was invited to public preschool because he was in an early intervention program. The second child's preschool won't be free. He goes to the YMCA at least four times a week for two hours a day, and they swim for another hour. My wife thinks gym childcare can provide a preschool experience.[/quote]

OP here. [b]We can afford both[/b]. I feel that weekly housekeeping is excessive. My wife doesn't want our child in preschool because she has trust issues. She would be okay with our child going to a public PreK, but that's not an option where we live. She feels the YMCA is the next best thing to regular preschool. I wasn't aware of any of this until today. She wants to hold onto him a while longer. She's terrified of school shootings. I suggested getting rid of a weekly housekeeper because I don't feel like we need it every week. My wife is OCD. The private preschool I have looked at is Montessori, and they are expensive. [/quote]

This is very different from your initial framing. What is the real issue? Money, your expectations for your wife, her OCD/over-protectiveness, something else?[/quote

I want him to attend Montessori, but she wants to home-school him for preschool. She is trained in the Montessori method. She believes that she would better teach him preschool academics than any school could offer. She doesn't want to teach him after preschool. We're not a homeschooling family. Our son is approaching four, but he has a late birthday. He'll be almost six when he's allowed to begin public kindergarten. [/quote]

Montessori has such a rigid approach to education. It was invented in the 19th century by someone who didn’t raise her own kids and worked with orphaned children and children of very poor people. I am not saying that to knock it, because I went to a Montessori school and sent my first child to one. But I think it has some limitations, specifically around socioemotional learning which is the most important at that age. If your wife can do Montessori at home, a compromise might be a PT (like 3-4 mornings a week) program that focuses on socioemotional. It’s really helpful for kids to learn how to work through conflict, sharing, making friends, negotiating play in a stable environment with the same group of kids and trusted teachers. It sets them up to be able to do this more independently in school when they will not get as much handholding. [/quote]

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