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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Are you, in essence, blaming my mother for my father's irresponsible choices? It was his decision to cheat. There are more honorable ways of dealing with an unsatisfying sex life.  "

Would you have wanted him to divorce your mother? Would that have been a more satisfactory upbringing for you? Would that have caused you to have a relationship with him now, or would you have sided with your mother regardless of what he did?
   
[/quote]

Sorry, I've been BUSY with my children to respond to this. Given that I don't know the details of what led my father to cheat, I can't say, but I would think that they could have tried couples counseling, talking, individual therapy, etc., before it came to divorce.

Anyway, it seems like you want to defend the cheating. I'm telling you that it affects the whole family, sometimes far worse than what you'd imagine. It does impact the children because no observant child will escape noticing the stress, strain, and general unhappiness that discovering the infidelity brings on. One PP said that there are aspects of a parents' relationship with their children that are separate from the relationship between the adults. That is true, but I consider infidelity the equivalent of emotional abuse, and when one parent abuses the other, whether emotional or physical, I think that it is entirely reasonable for the child to remove him/herself from the toxic parent.

Good luck to you. I hope that you find a way to end the cheating.[/quote]

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