Reply to Estrangement Doesn't Just Happen to "Bad" Moms

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Reply to "Estrangement Doesn't Just Happen to "Bad" Moms—It Happened to Me Too"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The mom said she feels like the son was comparing them to his fiance's family. She gave zero examples.

In fact she doesn't give any examples of the dil behaving poorly, controlling or anything at all. [/quote]

What about DIL disinviting his parents to the wedding, coming up with an example of how she was  treated rudely by MIL at baby shower- with no examples, refusal to discuss any conflicts,  no contact with inlaws at all, associating with her own family only, still not discussing it years later. This young wife has total control of everything.  [/quote]

The blog never once says they were disinvited. Did you read it? The MIL craftily glosses over why she decided not to go to the wedding. It is quite obvious that the MIL gave them an ultimatum "apologize, or we're not coming," and the son refused to be manipulated.

There are links in this thread to some of what the DIL has to say about this.

The writer also never says what happened that was so rude at the shower. Odd, isn't it? The DIL'S explanation is that her mom referenced the writer as a fellow southern girl, trying to find a commonality. Mil was inexplicably offended.

Sorry, but there's no evidence whatsoever that the dil "has total control over everything." None. [/quote]

So this is actually a really good example of why estrangement often happen when new people come into the family. In the past, when moment on her crazy rants and created drama. Dad and son may have learned how to appease her. They may know how much to apologize and bend over backwards. The new inlaws don't. They react like any one else would, and don't apologize. They didn't do anything wrong, and so why would they. This lights the whole relationship on fire. Mom gets angrier and no one resolves her misplaced anger for her, and the situation is ripe for escalation by the individual with bpd.[/quote]

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