Reply to I was so naive re marriage, career and kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are all naive about those things, dear. It's baptism by fire. You don't know what you're in for until you're in it. [/quote]

Yes but they both parents need to step up.

I think the rub here is OPs spouse agreed to be primary parent yet only wants to do daily execution stuff like feed child dinner and bedtime early.

Who checks the clothing sizes, car seats, age appropriate toys or classes or day care, or books, or dr appts, or family trips and social calendar, or schools, or the household stuff like food or paper products, vehicle oil changes, lawn or landscape maintenance, household repairs, etc.? The parent working with clients 60 hours a day or the 40-45 hour flex job parent who volunteered to be Primary Parent, or both and what’s the split? [/quote]

OP: thank you. You get it. I do ALL of that stuff. My husband says that because he does the direct childcare for 2.5 hours a day a few days a week (I do two evenings a week), he does not need to do anything like that. He also believes that these do not amount to childcare. [/quote]

He thought a SAHP gig was easy and is only doing his imaginary version of it. He was sorely naive too.[/quote]Watching the kid while doing none of the other stuff is being a babysitter, not a parent.

A parent notices when shoes are getting to small and orders new ones.  A babysitter doesn't.  A parent sorts and cleans out broken, soiled or outgrown toys or clothes. A babysitter just puts them back.  A parent thinks about exposing their kid to new foods and making sure they're providing a healthy diet.  A babysitter feeds the kid whatever is in the fridge.  A babysitter keeps the kid safe and alive.  A parents reads to the kid and teaches them things.

OP, if your isn't acting like a parent but a babysitter, you'll have trouble getting him to understand what he isn't doing.  I've been there.[/quote]

True. Same here. What did you do?  Did your kid just age out of needing so much, and you taught them to be more independent and vocal to Dad? [/quote]

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