Reply to I was so naive re marriage, career and kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are all naive about those things, dear. It's baptism by fire. You don't know what you're in for until you're in it. [/quote]

Yes but they both parents need to step up.

I think the rub here is OPs spouse agreed to be primary parent yet only wants to do daily execution stuff like feed child dinner and bedtime early.

Who checks the clothing sizes, car seats, age appropriate toys or classes or day care, or books, or dr appts, or family trips and social calendar, or schools, or the household stuff like food or paper products, vehicle oil changes, lawn or landscape maintenance, household repairs, etc.? The parent working with clients 60 hours a day or the 40-45 hour flex job parent who volunteered to be Primary Parent, or both and what’s the split? [/quote]

OP: thank you. You get it. I do ALL of that stuff. My husband says that because he does the direct childcare for 2.5 hours a day a few days a week (I do two evenings a week), he does not need to do anything like that. He also believes that these do not amount to childcare. [/quote]

Not good. Being a parent is a "take your work home with you job."  It doesn't stop because the kid just ate or went down for a nap. He and you need to manage all that MANAGING and PLANNING and MENTAL LOAD stuff better. Better splitting it up, doing some together, debriefing, etc. What would happen if you had to travel or were in the hospital for a month? You'd ahve to write out a daily and weekly schedule and pre-buy $hit for him? He should know his kid's needs and house well enough to do it himself at least half of the time. SOunds like he doesnt and makes up excuses like he did some manual task and is done. He is quite naive about life. I guess he's enabled and everything magically appears for his child and him. Nice. [/quote]

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