Reply to Paying for dates

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Paying for dates"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Starting to date after an LT marriage ended. In my mid 40's and haven't dated in almost 20 years.

I've gone out a few times with different people. I asked them out. Both times, when the check came, the date didn't even offer to split it. The one where we just had a few drinks over a happy hour doesn't hurt. It was less than $50. However, the second one went on to order a full-blown meal where the expectation was to just meet for a few drinks to see if we actually like each other in person. Just her part was $60 including appetizer, dinner, and dessert. When the check came, she had to use the restroom. I disconnected from both of them. Even if they offered to pay for their own order, would have made me feel better but it seemed like it was expected that I would pay. Also, these aren't some 20-30 year old people I'm talking about. Both ladies were my age +/- a few years.

Should I tell people up front that we will split the check? I don't want to be a dick but this is going to start to add up.

Question for women - is it expected for the man to pay for the first date?

Question for men - Do you just tell the server at the end for separate checks? Again, I don't want to be an ass about it but especially if the date is not going well, why should I end up paying for both. [/quote]

When the second woman ordered a meal on a drinks date - did you also order a meal?  If so, she probably considered it an extension of the date you invited her on.   Next time, meet for coffee, a walk in the park, or a museum if you don’t want to keep spending $$$ on pricy dinners.  As a woman I’m fine with free or low-cost first dates, but yes, if you ask me out I do expect that you’ll pay, and if you asked a server for separate checks there would be no second date.[/quote]

OP here.

I did not order dinner. The language I used to ask both ladies out was something like "want to grab a few drinks at HH after work?". Thanks to a lot of you for your suggestions. Like most people, I don't have a bank account that is limitless. I make a decent living so spending a few hundred bucks on dinner is not something I would think twice about. It's just that I was caught off guard about who pays. It's been a while. I was also turned off by the second woman who, from my perspective, used me for a free meal and drinks. Looking back, I should have just asked for separate checks with her because I was already not feeling it.

Someone asked what I would do if during the date, I'm not feeling it...based on all the input here from women who won't go out with someone if they asked to split the check. I'm going to do just that. Ask for the check to be split. This way she won't have to worry about me asking her out again and I won't feel like I was used.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics