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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Anecdotally, every woman I know married to a man who doesn’t do his share, actively does things to enable the behavior. From quitting her job, EBF, not sleep training, never leaving the kids to go away for a weekend, not demanding her husband takes any parental leave etc. I am in a egalitarian marriage with a husband who does 50/50 and supports my career. I have taken a different path than some of my friends but they would probably describe me as lucky to have a husband who actively parents and does his share.

But my friends never:

1. Formula fed so their husband was responsible for a window of time for the baby 
2. Left their young baby without instructions for the day with their husband 
3. Returned to work 
4. Went away for the weekend with girlfriends 
5. Refused to have more kids if their husband didn’t take parental leave

If you EBF and quit your job while your husband returns to work, you’re essentially saying the child is 100% your responsibility and not your husband’s. You’re saying your husband earns the $ and you do the housework/childcare. It’s very hard to break these habits. Men get very used to having a career while their wife stays home and does everything else. [/quote]

Such a weird and specific post.   :lol:

I don't work outside the home because working will cost me time.  I am basically giving my time to the employer to earn money, aren't I?  If I don't need that money and can live a comfortable life without it, then why do I need to work?  This time is time away from my kids, my DH and my leisure time.  I am gaining time by being home and having a leisurely life. DH thinks it is worth it because he does not have the stress of making our lives, our kids lives run smoothly.  It is like I am retired from working for a paycheck but while young.  I can live with that.  If my family needed the money, I would work.  If I could not afford to outsource some work, I am sure I would have been resentful.

I did EBF and did not sleep train.  DH is a  hands-on dad, and he has done equal caregiving than me for the babies since the day they have been born. Some men like being dads. He does cooking, wash dishes (because he is particular about the dishwasher), and he wakes the kids up and takes them to school (because he wants to spend time with them).  I sleep in in the mornings.  As for going away for the weekend with our girlfriends and buddies was never something DH or I liked to do. We went places with our kids as a family.  We are wired to be happy with each other and our kids.  This may be the reason that the pandemic has been smooth for us.[/quote]

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