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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does everyone just decide to keep working if they don't come out ahead? Anyone make decisions  based on wanting to be with your kids?[/quote]

No. You see your kids plenty after they are about 5. My experience was that moms who wanted to be with their kids had tons of family, friend or paid help.[/quote]

Your experience is limited. I decided to stay home with my DC for the first two years of her life and I have no local family and we had zero paid help at that time (we didn't even hire sitters for date nights except a couple times because me being home meant we had to be very careful with expenses). I also have no idea what kind of help people get from their friends -- mine are great but are definitely not providing childcare help, lol.

The reason I decided to do this is that I had my child late after not being sure I would have a baby at all. I knew it was unlikely I'd have another. I didn't expect to love the baby phase (always assumed I'd like the older kid/teen stage best) but I did. When it was time for me to return to work as planned, I realized that what I really wanted was to stay home, to really enjoy these early days with what was almost certainly my only child. I stayed home for two years and then started working PT. My kid is in school now but I still don't work FT and my priorities absolutely start with being a parent -- work is how I make money so that our family can afford certain things. But it is not my life's work. That's my kid.

I'd never judge anyone for returning to work after leave and being a WOH mom. I had every expectation that would be me. My priorities changed drastically when my child was born and I realized that I wanted something specific out of this experience and in order to get it, I'd need to be home or at least PT.

The idea that NO ONE makes this decision based largely on wanting to spend time with their child is false. I know other women like me. We are well-educated professionals. I know a couple who have spouses who are just very high earners, but most of us don't -- we SAH for some period of time based entirely on just wanting that time with our kids. It's really not uncommon.

If you don't know people like this, that's fine. But you don't know everyone. Stop assuming your experience is universal. It's very much not.[/quote]

No wonder then why women are their own worst enemy in the workplace.  If you're going to change your mind about working when you have your first kid at, say, 35, doesn't that mean women like you pose a risk greater than a man's to an employer?[/quote]

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