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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I talked to my in laws.  [b]They don’t want the sleepover here.  They share my fear.[/b]  They would happily go there but they have not been invited.

I think after watching their son and grandkids suffer they just really want people to be happy, so they were hoping for some magic solution.  [/quote]
And they have now shared this with their daughter?[/quote]

Yes her father called her.[/quote]

Don’t leave us hanging - how did it go and what’s the plan?[/quote]

I have no idea he left the room to speak privately.  [/quote]

You come across as a very strong personality. Have you considered that In-laws don’t actually agree with you but feel obligated to tell you what you want to hear?[/quote]

I am pretty fiercely protective of my DH right now.  I think usually SIL is the stronger personality.[/quote]

Understandably, but you need to realize that your fears and stress are making you behave somewhat unreasonably and that you are trying to implement rules and dictate holiday plans in a house that is not your own, which is probably rubbing the other siblings (who actually  grew up in the house?) the wrong way. It has the potential to have long term impact on family relationships and dynamics far beyond this Christmas.[/quote]

The two siblings without young kids have no desire to be here for the holiday.  They prefer the other plan.

But, if my choices are putting my husband's health in jeopardy, having my kids miss out on celebrating with their dad, and pissing her off, I can live with choice, especially given that DH's parents are clear that they don't think it's safe either.  [/quote]

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