Reply to What is with DCUM women and "mental loads?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Superdad, the reason people are hostile is that their husbands don’t go any of that. They do nothing.  [/quote]

Bingo.

Superdad does those things because he HAS to. No one else will.

But in a marriage where 2 people are supposed to divide the tasks, it's problematic for someone to one-sidedly decide they don't need to participate in those tasks and it's okay for the other person to take them all on solo.

Sort of like, I knew a couple who started a business together. Ownership was 50/50. After 3-4 years, business was doing GREAT. They were making tons of money. And then the male partner decided he'd rather pursue other things and completely checked out. Still owned half the business, still got half the profits, but spent his days pursuing hobbies and side interests rather than on the business. He figured things would run on autopilot, his partner could handle it alone, that somehow the money would still magically appear.

The female partner's workload was suddenly doubled and she ran herself into the ground trying to keep the business afloat. Developed severe anxiety and panic attacks from the pressure. And, the business fell apart. She suddenly had to take on double the clients, produced low-quality work as a result, and they all left. And she was stuck, because her options were to give up the business, the resources they'd acquired in the business, plus their relationship....or to just suck it up and hope she could manage until things improved.

Now, I own a business in the same field and run it solo. I know many people who run similar businesses solo. But, I know I'm running it solo, so I adjust my workload, prices, practices, etc accordingly. And, I don't have a second person who is dead weight that I have to carry. If, say, I had a business partner who could do half of the client meetings, but I had to put it on the calendar, explain to them exactly what to say, remind them of the meeting, following up afterwards, etc - or if, say, I didn't even know if they would show up or if they'd have an excuse of why they couldn't do it that day - it wouldn't be worth it for me to have the help, I may as well do it on my own.[/quote]

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